Pantsdown scores #1 on TripleJ Net50!
Miss Pantdown called today for One Nation's abolition and for a Royal Commission into the organisation, a call which was based on public demands for it to be made accountable for the funding it receives.
"There is monies that have been wasted and all the Queer Astrayan people want is a fair go - they want accountability and I'm going to continue to call for it," she said.
"And besides, why have an organisation that is purely based on racism alone.
"I call everyone who supports these racist policies as being racist themselves, and it's wrong and it stinks and I don't like it," Miss Pantsdown said.
|After much sleuthing - well a stroll up Oxford Street - the Fan Club can reveal Pauline Pantsdown is none other than Janet Howard, a mild mannered housewife on Sydney's North Shore.|
|The face of Astrayan
politics has been changed for ever.
On Saturday 12th September Pauline Pantsdown, the real mother of our Nation, launched her campaign for a Senate seat in NSW. She outlined her vision for Astraya including a Ten-Point Plan, and recommended putting One Nation last on ballot papers. Her newest chart-topping single "I Don't Like It" played away in the background. A major part of Pauline's campaign will be to cast out the Hanson-Howard Coalition. You can Vote 1 for bad dress sense without the bad smell of xenophobia and racism.
|WhO iS PAUliNE PANtSdOWN
That's the question on everyone's badly-made-up lips! Hanson's lawyers told Judge Ambrose in the Brisbane Supreme Court that they were "making enquiries" as to Pantsdown's identity. All they had to go on was a video of Pantsdown's appearance on the Today Show, which they played in the courtroom. Our Pauline was resplendent in a beautiful red dress with big white buttons, surprisingly similar to one worn by the interviewer, Tracey Grimshaw. She told the national TV audience that "127% of the maynstream Astrayan public'll back me on this issue."
For the record, Ms. Pantsdown has yet to hear from Hanson's lawyers. "I've heard rumours that Hanson is goin' through all the Pantsdowns in the phone book" she says, "but we'll have to hope she's got the spelling right!"
In fact, Our Pauline finds it unusual that Hanson has had so much trouble tracking her down. "Doesn't she recognise her own sister?!", she exclaims. That's right, folks. Born Raelene Hanson in Ipswich, Queensland, our Pauline was so horrified by her elder sibling's racist, xenophobic statements that she changed her surname to PANTSDOWN. However, on the advice of her record company (Caring Potato Productions), she has gone on to change her first name to PAULINE in order to shamelessly cash in on the publicity.
"I see us a being, loik, a female version
of (treasurer) Peter and (minister) Tim Costello", philosophises Pauline,
"We've got completely opposite views on everything, but still share the
same appalling hairstyle and fashion sense!"
Hosted by Julie McCrossin
OUTSIDE PARLIAMENT HOUSE
Tuesday 22 September 1998
GAY & LESBIAN
STAND UP FOR
BRING A WHISTLE
Monday 28 September 1998
plus the occasional rumour, if you ask the Fan Club very sweetly.
21 September 1998 - Pauline Pantsdown had her primary industry policy to launch, but Jeff Kennett was in town on the same day - neither of them really knew why they were there in Noosa, but wouldn't it be great if they ran into each other?
20 September 1998 - "Too many right wing extemist groups come out here, rip off this country for what they can get out of it and leave our shores with the money that could be staying here in Astraya ... That's what's happened to Astraya where you've got 90 per cent of right wing extemist Astraya that is foreign controlled."
18 September 1998 - Ms Pauline Pantsdown was escorted through a Perth shopping centre by police and security personnel yesterday.
Supporters mobbed Pauline in one supermarket and forced her to take refuge in a coffee shop in a second, its entrance blocked by a line of police.
17 September 1998 - Pauline Pantsdown chose to wear a black pleated mini-skirt to meet students at Sydney University today. She claimed this was to divert interest from the real issues of the campaign.
Sources close to Pantsdown told the Fan Club that this skirt was bought from the very same shop where Pauline Hanson purchased a similarly bad taste outfit before her Western Australian tour, evidently for a similar purpose.